How To Woo A Potential Wife
Here, ALBINUS CHIEDU, an expert on Relationship, has come out with a fresh angle on how a man can have his wife around him..Read more:
Individual differences abound among human beings on the face of the earth. Because value systems differ, it is not what attracted Mr. A’s wife to him that attracted Mr. B’s wife to him. So, there are various interests, orientations and values.
However, the sources of attraction to marital relationships have changed over the years with increase in education, enlightenment and technology. For instance, because only a few people had the privilege of going to school many years ago, a young guy could easily use his power of good grammatical expression to woo a lady and win her to marry him. Things are no longer so.
Today, many young men have remained unmarried because of their wrong mindset and orientation as regards attitudinal conduct and selling point when it comes to wooing a lady for marriage. So, before we talk about trying to woo someone for marriage, mindset must change.
“Do not be conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2).
To convince a responsible and godly lady that you are responsible enough to be her lawfully wedded husband, you must
1. BE REAL: There are so many young men that approach a beautiful lady talking to her about serious relationship. But she can never say yes to the one she knows has been lying to her, presenting himself as what he is not, and assuming she is a fool like many other single ladies. It is not every single lady that is foolish, desperate and hopeless. Be straightforward and truthful to the potential mother of your children. Be yourself so that she can see the way you are and feel safe to love you for who you are.
Also Read: How To Attract Your Own Husband
2. TALK MORE ABOUT HER: What most young men do when they approach a potential spouse is to advertise, and in most cases, lie about their material possessions. A man recently approached a lady for marriage, telling her about the size of his landed property, cars, chieftaincy titles and so on. If it is about all that, the lady can as well go to the brothel and pick from among the numerous men who possess such things and patronize prostitutes. The important thing is to focus on her personality possessions that you feel will be useful to both of you, living together forever. You must go beyond saying things like: “You are beautiful. I like your smile.” Even street touts might have said that same thing to her too. Anybody can say that to her. It is not wrong to say that, but it may not be news to her. Are there character features that attracted you? For instance, “I like the way you always speak the truth whenever the occasion arises.” “I see that you are a very patient lady and I believe that such attitude will help my life.” “There are only few hardworking single ladies like you these days. I appreciate that.” These are character issues that can attract a responsible single lady’s attention. They are more important than physical appearance matters.
3. DRESS & APPEAR WELL: Gone are the days of ignorance and illiteracy when responsible ladies easily fell in love with shabbily dressed guys with unkept hairs. Dress well and appear well to show that you are responsible and that she can proudly introduce you to someone as her husband.
4. SHOW HER CARE: A responsible single lady is looking forward to marrying a responsible man that will show her love and care and respect her feelings and emotions. If you approach a lady with “I am the man who must be worshipped” mindset, you may never marry a wife that will respect you. An arrogant man does not deserve a humble wife. One evidence that you care for her is that you pray with her always, concerning her personal issues. Also, encourage her to believe that she needs to love and believe God more, in response to God’s love for her. Let her see more of God through you. But you know you cannot give what you don’t have. If you have a “church is for women” mentality, you may hardly marry a good wife. In conversation, be a good listener to what she has to say. As a matter of fact, listen to her utterances and use her words to sustain discussions. This also helps you to understand her ideas and ways of reasoning. Don’t do all the talking.
5. BE CONFIDENT IN SPEAKING: Don’t play with your phone while talking to her, just because you want to show off the value of your toy. Do you know how many phones she has seen in her life? Give her attention when she is talking. Remember you are also doing an investigation to know this lady. When talking to her, look straight into her eyes. It gives her confidence that you may not be lying like many other guys might have done.
Ask her questions that require long explanations rather than Yes or No answers. For instance, do not ask: “Do your parents live in Lagos?”.Rather, ask: “Where do your parents live?” It is possible that she has homeless parents that sleep under the bridge. A Yes or No answer will not reveal that to you.
From time to time, say things that could make her smile. She might be someone who hardly smiles. You can’t tell.
Clarity in your voice is very important. When you say something, say it clearly. Don’t talk as if you have water in your mouth. Don’t talk with a panicky voice or talk like someone who is afraid. No responsible lady will feel secured enough to have you as husband if you are not a confident person (2nd Timothy 1:7).
My guy! Do not jump into engagement ring proposal until you have prayerfully done the godly things that should be done.
Your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.